Introspection

What is pain?

Here is a comforting analysis. Whatever brings pain to your life is a great opportunity for advancement. Pain implies the absence of something you want, or the presence of something you do not want. But you can change your wants and desires, or even be free from them. The source of pain is not their absence or presence, but our attachment to them. One by one, we can remove our attachments, thereby increasing the level of our freedom. Pain is thus an instrument for freedom.

What is essence?

I try to answer this question by means of induction, by disproving alternate explanations turn by turn. What is essential must be true yesterday and true tomorrow. We can hence ignore all the dynamics about our lives and focus only on one moment, now, to find the essential element that does not change with time. It is like holding a strand of dry spaghetti with a pair of forceps or scissors, and cutting both edges, each representing the past and the future. We can now focus on the now. What is it in me that is essential and unaffected by time? To my surprise the only answer I could come up with is the Potential to Be. What I become at all levels of experience -- physical, emotional, mental – is non-essential because it can change. But the Potential remains a constant, whether or not it is realized, and in whatever way it is realized.

What is truth?

Who really wants the truth? In all honesty, truth is the least romantic -- and hence the least sought after -- of all the ideals such as love, freedom, peace etc. It is less romantic because it is neutral, and promises nothing. It might even be dangerous. What if the truth is in fact painful and restrictive instead of peaceful and freeing? But precisely because it is neutral, truth trumps up everything else. Hell the truth shall set you free, whether it sends you to jail or to your own house. Why? Because it is the truth. It has that inherent power to put straight all incongruency. Perhaps the greatest achievement of man is to look straight into the eyes of the truth. The courage to do it must be truly liberating. And there is also some tenderness about truth. And this is the fact that, however uncomfortable the truth might be, it can never be less rewarding than a lie.

Question Or Answer?

Life is one big question mark. Not a full stop. That is what makes it exciting! Humans love uncertainty. We hate cut-and-dried affairs that are concluded from the beginning. We love the question rather than the answer. The multitude of possibilities questions represent enthrall us more than the dreary facts answers contain. We love new people, new places, unexpected events, though with uncertainty and originality a lot of risk and danger is also involved. In movies we enjoy most not the ending but the dramatic point where the protagonist’s life is on a treadmill. While dating we are most promiscuous in the early stages where we have to form the bond. Even in sex, it is not the orgasmic moment that we find exhilarating but the moments building up to it. We are wired to enjoy the uncertainty, and the openness of expectations the unknown entails. 

Warriors

The storm has subsided

The losses have been counted

And the sun is finally shining

Through the mountains of cloud.

Now is the time

For you and me to come together

We have lost the battle

But the war can still be won.

I wait for your visit

With full faith
And call with an open heart

Come!

So you and I may talk business

Strengthen our alliance

And anchor our fraternity

On unsurpassed resilience.

Come, my Brother

My combat partner

Enough time has been spent

Waiting for the inevitable

Now is the time

For you and me to come together

To solidify our forces 

For this battle

We are certain to win.

I call you my Eternal Brother

My combat partner

Not only do you speak

The language of my mother  

Not only do you harken

From the birth-land of my father

Not only are you bound

With me in flesh and blood 

But also you and I

My dearest combat partner

Primarily share one goal

Ever since time was born  

Of winning this epic battle.

~By Addisu

Ancona, Italy

30-10-13

**********

Contradiction

I want to go to a place where there are no men, not even myself. 

Without men there are no questions, and no search for answers. No troubles and confusion. Not even peace and serenity... these solutions would be unnecessary where the problems do not arise in the first place. This place will have neither vacancies nor jobs, neither tvs nor cinemas, neither struggles nor compromises, neither things nor ideas, neither secrecy nor publicity, neither life nor death, neither time nor eternity, neither friends nor enemies, neither truth nor lies, and perhaps more importantly, no pretenses at all, and no purposeless existence.

It is not that I am too sensitive to hurt, or too fearful of suffering in a world of dramas. It is just that I am tired of the drama. We must admit that we do not really love to live in a dream. Although we may be fond of the experience for some time, we soon grow tired of it. The only reason keeping us in this place is our dim wit. We have long concluded that there is no better choice. Or we are contented with the occasional gratification in the short cycle of pain and pleasure. Not for me. I want to escape and get my freedom.

*****

How sweet it is to be in love
The butterflies on the stomach
The warm blood rushing in the veins
The flush on the chick
The wild drums of the heart
The intoxication of the senses
The fuzzy oozzy sensation
The exotic hallucination
The desire to melt
The wish to evaporate
In to a winged spirit
In the arms of the beloved
In the gaze of his sight.
To be in love, even fleetingly
To be lost and forget totally. 

Reflections

The moment you open your mouth to say something, you are implying that something is there that is worth speaking. This is a judgment, and with it the whole world crystallizes into existence. You are now accepting the delineation between good and bad, and thus accepting all the limitations that arise from it. You are like one of us, a mere fragile human. You can be threatened, and even killed.

I will not pretend to be a saint who sees only the good and the loving. I am not inherently bad either; I do not wish painful suffering even for my enemies. I am merely a sentient being. I live to minimize my pain and maximize my pleasures, although my definitions for both are neither stable nor consistent. I am totally self-interested, and I see my wishes and fears scribbled on every thing in the world. I may even say there is not much distinction between me and another animal, with one major exception. In all the courses of action I take and the events I participate in, I am aware of the possibility of an entirely different course of action or event. I am able to see beyond what is, and even beyond my self-interest. In that awareness is the total distinction between me and another animal.  

There is an I 

That my mother brought up

There is an I 

Sitting dreamily on on the park bench

There is an I 

Pacing about in the office corridor

There is an I

That has a facebook account

There is an I

---

Perhaps it is my job 

Trying to hold together

These multiple pieces of me 

In to a coherent story.

Politics in Ethiopia

In my father’s house

In my father’s house

There are many mansions.

Enough, for each one of us

For each, as his own wish.

In my Father’s house

In our Dear’s  compound

We have many mansions

Enough for everyone’s need.

The mansions, in our Father’s house

Shine in the morning sun

Dear and beloved

Precious like a pure stone,

Like a diamond.

For each, as his own wish

As per his dreams, and ambitions

And so they are designed

And built, and decorated

And carpeted, and gardened.

In my Father’s house

There are many mansions

Enough for everyone’s need

If it were not so, I would have told you

But it is so, and so rest assured.

September 2011

Kiss

I felt the kiss of her lips 

Touching my cheek in the darkness

And I asked

--

How come I cannot touch your face

Tell me about it please

Is it back or white

Golden or violet?

--

And she laughed

In a melodious whisper

--

You speak so strangely my dear

My face does not have any color

Does perfection have a shape

Or purity any texture?

If you could describe it

It wouldn't be any more perfect

Since then you would toss and roll 

Slice and dice it

Till you find it in fault.