Contradiction

I want to go to a place where there are no men, not even myself. 

Without men there are no questions, and no search for answers. No troubles and confusion. Not even peace and serenity... these solutions would be unnecessary where the problems do not arise in the first place. This place will have neither vacancies nor jobs, neither tvs nor cinemas, neither struggles nor compromises, neither things nor ideas, neither secrecy nor publicity, neither life nor death, neither time nor eternity, neither friends nor enemies, neither truth nor lies, and perhaps more importantly, no pretenses at all, and no purposeless existence.

It is not that I am too sensitive to hurt, or too fearful of suffering in a world of dramas. It is just that I am tired of the drama. We must admit that we do not really love to live in a dream. Although we may be fond of the experience for some time, we soon grow tired of it. The only reason keeping us in this place is our dim wit. We have long concluded that there is no better choice. Or we are contented with the occasional gratification in the short cycle of pain and pleasure. Not for me. I want to escape and get my freedom.

*****

How sweet it is to be in love
The butterflies on the stomach
The warm blood rushing in the veins
The flush on the chick
The wild drums of the heart
The intoxication of the senses
The fuzzy oozzy sensation
The exotic hallucination
The desire to melt
The wish to evaporate
In to a winged spirit
In the arms of the beloved
In the gaze of his sight.
To be in love, even fleetingly
To be lost and forget totally. 

Reflections

The moment you open your mouth to say something, you are implying that something is there that is worth speaking. This is a judgment, and with it the whole world crystallizes into existence. You are now accepting the delineation between good and bad, and thus accepting all the limitations that arise from it. You are like one of us, a mere fragile human. You can be threatened, and even killed.

I will not pretend to be a saint who sees only the good and the loving. I am not inherently bad either; I do not wish painful suffering even for my enemies. I am merely a sentient being. I live to minimize my pain and maximize my pleasures, although my definitions for both are neither stable nor consistent. I am totally self-interested, and I see my wishes and fears scribbled on every thing in the world. I may even say there is not much distinction between me and another animal, with one major exception. In all the courses of action I take and the events I participate in, I am aware of the possibility of an entirely different course of action or event. I am able to see beyond what is, and even beyond my self-interest. In that awareness is the total distinction between me and another animal.  

There is an I 

That my mother brought up

There is an I 

Sitting dreamily on on the park bench

There is an I 

Pacing about in the office corridor

There is an I

That has a facebook account

There is an I

---

Perhaps it is my job 

Trying to hold together

These multiple pieces of me 

In to a coherent story.

Politics in Ethiopia